Introduction of Business Writing (2)
Friday 1 -2
Prof. John Bahk-Halberg
200702742 HyeRi Lee
Title : Becoming Jane
I want to write about my favorite movie, "Becoming Jane". The movie is the story of an English female writer, Jane Austen's life and love. She wrote many famous romantic novels like "Pride and Prejudice", "Sense and Sensibility", etc. In her books, Jane Austen always finish her writings with happy endings, and her female characters have confident, achievable personality. The books were enjoyable, but I thought they have some non-realistic features.
Like her lovely characters in her book, she was a confident person who really liked writing. However, in the movie "Becoming Jane", we can see that her love actually was not that a great one. In the case of her love, she got troubled in between the love she wanted and the stable marriage. She chose the former one, but finally she failed to marry with her lover. I think the process of her failure in love is very realistic, so I love this movie although it doesn't' ended with happy endings. Experts says that this failure was the big turning point of her life as the writer, and I think this point makes her novel more attractive.
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I also attached my word file.
See you on Friday^,^
Sincerely,
HyeRi Lee
Jeon Yejin/ 201003023
ReplyDeleteYour main topic is about your favorite movie ‘Becoming Jane.’ I read your writing very interestingly because I had the same feeling with you when I watched the movie. Actually I didn’t know why it was so impressive then, but I got the reason after I read this writing. Though, I think your writing could be much better if you change some parts of it.
In the case of her love, she got troubled in between the love she wanted and the stable marriage.
-> Because this essay is all about her love, I think the phrase, ‘In the case of her love’ is unnecessary.
Experts says that this failure was the big turning point of her life as the writer, and I think this point makes her novel more attractive.
-> There is a mistake of using a verb. For the word ‘Experts’ is the plural, the word ‘says’ have to be changed as ‘say’.
What I like about this piece of writing is her detail explanation of the book and her opinion about the story. Her main point is that the book is interesting but somehow unrealistic. I like the part where she included the opinion of experts since it sounds more persuasive. However, I was confused because she wanted to write about her favorite movie, but in the end of the paragraph, she is talking about the book.
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