Thursday, November 4, 2010

200601825 hyesu Ahn opinion essay first draft

 

No Traffic Jam

 

Every morning I smile while I see a lot of cars in a heavy traffic. The traffic is bumper to bumper but for me, who ride a bus, it doesn't matter. It's because I ride on a bus and the bus drive in an only-bus central lane. If there were not central bus lane, it would have been unimaginable.

 

 The central bus lane has several benefits. First, by riding bus people can be punctual. Only buses can drive in a central bus lane so there's not a traffic jam. People can expect when a bus comes to a bus stop and when they can arrive at their destination.  People don't need to explain why they are late to their superiors. Anytime, anyplace they can be punctual. Second, many people started riding buses so the entire volume of traffic has been decreased. People who don't want to excuse their superiors have started ride buses. They stop riding their cars so the entire volume of traffic has been decreased. It means there are less cars in the road and less traffic jam. Third, in the road, there is no more chaos. Before central bus lane, many cars and buses were mixed in disorder so the traffic was heavier. But after central bus lane, the buses only drive in a central land and cars only drive in except central lane. No more chaos in the road. And it helps to solve traffic congestions. But some people complain that because of central bus lane there are one less lanes in the road so it only worsens the traffic jam. However, think about these three benefits of the central bus lane their words are so ridiculous. It is definitely helpful for the traffic.

While government was making the central bus lane, some complaint that it costs too much and it is confusing. But many people benefit from the central bus lane. There are almost no excuses at the company about being late due to traffic jam. If there were no central bus lane, this morning many companies would have been loud because of traffic arguments.

2 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. The essay has three paragraphs.
    2. The introduction includs a hook to get the reader's attention.
    Telling about your story made me interested. Also, I think "Every morning I smile while I see a lot of cars in a heavy traffic" this sentence stimulate my curiosity. Most people really hate heavy traffic!
    3. Your opinion about the issue is stated in your thesis statement, but I think it is needed to be more clear.
    4. The body paragraph contains facts and reasons that support the opinion. You suggest three specific reasons why the central bus lane should be maintained.
    5. The third benefit, I really agree about it. The bus often change lane, so if there are lanes only for buses, it will help stop chaos.
    6. I think the second benefit and third one are almost same. Please add more details to know the difference.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.