201003642
honghua cui
Children and TV
TV is one of the seriou topic in this society. Because it is affect on kinds of things especially for children. TV makes people are stupefied and let people think about dangrouse things. For example, TV makes them waste of time when site on the TV screen most of people fall into screens history maybe they could not listen what peoples said. that's menas TV has stronger poisoning. But the other way TV is very useful, such as news program and education program or life lecture. evenmore traveling program it is very support to the people, Because of most of people dont challenge for traveling, and it is spend lots of money. so traveling program broaden these people's outlook and also let them the other world.
But children character normaly innocent and donot have perception, when they saw a new things they just follow about that and feels very wonder, that why that is bad or good they just accept that. it is reason why parents must be protect of their children and pay attention at the same time children also must follow to their parents and rely on them. That's why best way is donot let childern face with TV . of course if parents stay with them together and they control TV program that is good for them. For example make children as soon as possible learn much things and make them creat perception.
Nowadays lots of parents very sensibility between their children and TV. because of TV program more dangerous than before. especially over the midnight. one of the newspaper said that many parents even they have meal at restaurant where they need to change channel about education program for their children.
1. you had a clear three paragragh in your essay.
ReplyDelete2. I think your hook should be more interesting.
It might be better to use examples or your experineces.
3. In your essay, I couldn't find what is your topic.
Your essay deals with both sides of TV.
I think it is better to stress either of the topic, it is useful or not.
4. You had a reason and supportive ideas in your body parargragh.
However, as I mentioned above, I caannot clearly understand what you want to say.
5. I agree that TV has a bad effect on children, because they makes people to waste time on TV.
I also have a similar experience, too.
6. it is needed to emphasize your topic in your essasy.
I cannot understand the second sentence of the body paragragh,
because the sentence is too long.