HONGHUA CUI
201003642
Two different pets
I want compare two pets dog and cat, because of when I first image of pets that thinking about dog and cat, of course recently many people make turtle, snake or the other animal became their pets, but normally dog and cat living with people. And then cut and dog many ways really different.
For example, dog understand what master say and follow to master order, but cat be defiant what master saying just doing what they want to do. the other way dog like walking with master but cat never walking with master on the street, but cat always cause by master hug. when I was jogging in the morning lots of master runing with their dog but i never saw someone who jogging with their cat.
In my opinion I think dog is better than cat. From my heared about history both of them dog give me touched affected more than cat. when I was child my mother told me about dogs history, I still remember about that. someone who is nanny in rich family and they have a big dog and the dog very follow to master. when master come back home dog bark at the door say hai with master, as well as when master angry with something the dog go to master side lick master's hand. but dogs life short than person die earlier than people so make master said. however cat I just think about scaring Because of I heared about just scaring things from the other people that is cat can see gost in the midnight except that I don't like cat image let me feeling uncomfortable, but I always heared about I looks like cat image.
For better for worse, someone who said dog and cat can not living together because of they are very different ways life style. such as the dog is wagging his tail means happy with something but for cat that means discontent about something. so when they get together always fighting each other.
It is interesting that you choose the same subject the I did. I think that the cats and dogs are good example for comparing the pets. It is more interesting that the you write your opinion too. Reader's will feel same or different, therefore making an interest on your writting. But I just wonder how about write your contents more narrow and deeply.
ReplyDeletePeer Feedback Sheet (from Jeon Yejin)
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that its about the two of the most loved pets, cats and dogs.
2. Your main point seems to be the differences between dogs and cats
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
*I think the relationship between the master and the dog is well described in this writing.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved :
*of course recently many people make turtle, snake or the other animal became their pets, but normally dog and cat living with people.
->It is not clear what you tried to explain by the sentence ‘normally dog and cat living with people.’ I guess maybe it is about the fact that dogs and cats are the animals which people have fed from the ancient times.. Whether it is or not, I think the sentence need to be changed.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is the third paragraph which is about your opinion about two pets. What you should have done was descriptive writing, and you also started with the topic which fits to the kinds of writing. It seems that you lost the point at the third paragraph of your writing… I think if you solve this, your writing would be better to understand what you want to say much more clearly.