Have you ever been to Seoul or Tokyo? Both Seoul and Tokyo are located in East Asia. Most people say that the Tokyo and Seoul have much of the similarity. But, although they heard that the two cities are very similar but also it is very different in many ways.
First, they have similarities in the outlooks of the cities. Seoul and Tokyo are both are mostly contained by sky scrappers. It looks much similar. Also the both people are asians will looks same too. If you didn't look carefully you can only see the difference that Tokyo use Japanish language and Korea use Korean language. From the Tokyo city site, it is interesting differences that the subway system in Tokyo are more complicated than in Korea. Because of the subway station is made by the private enterprise. So if you want to change the train, you have to buy several ticket, different from Korea that Korea only buys one ticket. But it is also different in real property system. In Tokyo, there is no charter system. You have to rather buy it or pay by month.
As you see, although Tokyo and Seoul looks similar, it is different in various ways. When I was in Tokyo, I didn't found much of the difference between them. Sometimes I became sad that if I saw that more carefully, than I can found more difference between them.
Your thesis statement compare two cities, Seoul and Tokyo.
ReplyDeleteThere is one body paragragh in your essay which deals with comparison and contrast.
I think it is better to change the paragragh before you start contract.
Your body paragragh has its clear topic sentences about the similarity and difference.
Each topic sentence state the the point of comparison and contrast, too.
It will make your essay better, if you add some details on your body paragragh.
You used connectors to add coherence.
From HyeRi
ReplyDeleteYour thesis statement is comparing two subjects which are Seoul and Tokyo.
Your body paragraph is not separted in two paragraphs, so your body paragraph contains both of comparison and contrast.
Your body paragraph have topic sentence, but I think you can separate them so it can be more clear.
Your topic sentece is stating the point of comparison and contrast.
Your body paragraph contains detals to support the comparison and contrast. I think you can improve this paragraph through separate it.
You used connectors to add coherence.
Thanks ^,^
Have you ever been to Seoul or Tokyo? Both Seoul and Tokyo are very good place for tourist to travel. located in both East Asia. Most people say that the Tokyo and Seoul have much of the similarity. But, although they heard that the two cities are very similar but also it is very different in many ways. But it is not easy to find if you are not carefully looking at two cities.
ReplyDeleteFirst, they have similarities in the outlooks of the cities. Seoul and Tokyo are both are mostly contained by sky scrappers. It looks much similar. This is because that the both cities are designed based on the western metropolis cities like New York. Also the both people are asians will looks same too. For westerns, it is not easy to distinguish the Korean and the Japanish.
If you didn't look carefully you can only see the difference that Tokyo use Japanish language and Korea use Korean language. From the Tokyo city site, it is interesting differences that the subway system in Tokyo are more complicated than in Korea. Because of the subway station is made by the private enterprise. So if you want to change the train, you have to buy several ticket, different from Korea that Korea only buys one ticket. But it is also different in real property system. In Tokyo, there is no charter system. You have to rather buy it or pay by month.
As you see, although Tokyo and Seoul looks similar, it is different in various ways. When I was in Tokyo, I didn't found much of the difference between them. Sometimes I became sad that if I saw that more carefully, than I can found more difference between them. If I go there one more time, I will think it more carefully about the differences and eventually find it.