Introduction to Academic Writing (2)/ Fri 1-2
Jeon Yejin/ 201003023
Writing three paragraph about an invention/ Week 9 assignment
Twitter
A college professor came up with an idea that cities with smaller population tend to have fewer opportunities to hear speaks from scientist one day. Of course it was not easy for him to make the opportunities alone. So he decided to send a tweet on his twitter: "There are fewer opportunities for those who living in small towns to hear speaks from scientists. Is there someone who majored science or engineering, and would be glad to give a lecture for them?" After 10 hours, about 300 people answered to go. After 50 days, 69 among those people were introduced as a speaker in libraries of the towns. This was a near miracle. A lot of people were surprised and deeply moved by the fact that this could happen. Likewise, recently the so called 'achievements of things considered a miracle through twitter' were often reported in the paper. Starting from the U.S., twitter now shows its power on communication in Korea.
Twitter is a website which offers a social networking and micro-blooging service. These two main functions of twitter can happen by some representative features of it. First is a tweet. It is a text-based post of up to 140 characters displayed on the user's twitter. By sending a tweet, people can share their thoughts about issues of society, music, photos, whatever they want to share as a form of a text within 140 characters. This limitation of words makes the users to write just the key point of what they want to say. Next is following. If a person follow someone in twitter, it means he or she decided to subscribe the tweets of the user. These Subscribers in twitter are called as followers. The relationship of following and followed makes a social networking system. As for the donation of speaks started from a college professor, it could happen because of this system. When the professor sends a tweet about an issue, the users who followed him can see what he said on one's main page without any additional clicks, and reply to the tweet with just one click. In other words, the relationship by following in twitter directly leads to the communication between followers and the followed. These two noticeable factors of twitter make the so called miracles.
Some people worry about this easy communication system because it allows people to makes not only sound communications but also futile arguments and some words bringing hurts for the receiver on the evidence of the cases of famous singer Tablo or Jessica. However, even they do not deny the right function of twitter is good. Also this is new to Korean yet. We need to form our culture on it and not to let anything like these cases of Tablo or Jessica ever happen again. As some rules in twitter will have fixed, I think it will surely show more heartwarming stories, miracles to us.
You have all three paragraph and your hook is very interesting too. It really catchs up my mind. It shows the power of the twitter. Also I can clearly show your thesis statement too that twwiter is the achievement of the things in nowadays. There is enough facts and reasons of why the twitter is good too. I also agree that twitter is really good achievement too. But I just wonder how about start your hook with a question so that the reader might think twitter in their life? It would be better.
ReplyDeleteyou have three paragraphs and your hook is a interesting story. you clearly stated your opinion in the thesis statement. Also you contain facts and reasons to support your opinion. But if you add some facts such as how many people use twitter or how quickly it is spreading it will be much better.
ReplyDelete[Second Draft]
ReplyDeleteTwitter
A college professor came up with an idea that cities with smaller population tend to have fewer opportunities to hear speaks from scientist one day. Of course it was not easy for him to make the opportunities alone. So he decided to send a tweet on his twitter: "There are fewer opportunities for those who living in small towns to hear speaks from scientists. Is there someone who majored science or engineering, and would be glad to give a lecture for them?" After 10 hours, about 300 people answered to go. After 50 days, 69 among those people were introduced as a speaker in libraries of the towns. This was a near miracle. A lot of people were surprised and deeply moved by the fact that this could happen. Likewise, recently the so called miracles of twitter were often reported in the paper. Starting from the U.S., twitter now shows its power on communication in Korea.
Twitter is a website which offers a social networking and micro-blogging service. These two main functions of twitter can happen by some representative features of it. First is a tweet. It is a text-based post of up to 140 characters displayed on the user's twitter. By sending a tweet, people can share their thoughts about issues of society, music, photos, whatever they want to share as a form of a text within 140 characters. This limitation of words makes the users to write just the key point of what they want to say. Next is following. If a person follow someone in twitter, it means he or she decided to subscribe the tweets of the user. These Subscribers in twitter are called as followers. The relationship of following and followed makes a social networking system. As for the donation of speaks started from a college professor, it could happen because of this system. When the professor sends a tweet about an issue, the users who followed him can see what he said on one's main page without any additional clicks, and reply to the tweet with just a click. In other words, the relationship made by following in twitter directly leads to the communication between followers and the followed. These two noticeable factors of twitter make it possible for users to freely communicate their ideas with each other. For this power on communication of twitter, more and more people have begun to sign in twitter. As for Korea, there are now more than one million Korean twitter users according to the research had been held by OikoLab, a research institute in Korea.
Some people worry about this easy communication system of twitter because it allows people to makes not only sound communications but also futile arguments and some words bringing hurts for the receiver on the evidence of the cases of famous singer Tablo or Jessica. However, even they do not deny the right function of twitter is good. Also this is new to Korean yet. Before blaming twitter for those cases, we need to try to form our culture on it and not to let anything like them ever happen again. As some rules in twitter will have fixed, I think it will surely show us more heartwarming stories, something like miracle.