Creative method on Traffic
200704216 Jeon HyungMin
It is hard to find anything more important than the subject of traffic congestion. Indeed, many countries around the world are taking some actions to ease traffic problems. For example, they pass bills to curb car emissions, and campaign to reduce the use of cars and encourage the use of natural gas other than gasoline. Interestingly, there are some creative methods designed for making a better traffic.
An illustration of creative method is in Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark. The first impression people usually get from the city is that it is quite calm and pleasant to walk around. It is never crowded with cars that emit pollutants into the air and make noise. The citizens of Copenhagen prefer bicycles to cars as their transportation means. There is a good chance that visitors find people briskly riding on a bicycle wherever they visit the city. In front of public facilities, schools, public offices there are bicycle racks. Bikes are always densely parked in front of the Parliament. A third of lawmakers are said to be using bicycles instead of cars. Besides this, the city of Copenhagen is planning to increase the number of bicycle commuters from 32% of the population now to 40% by 2010.
The challenge now is how the governments can persuade the general public to ride bicycles and how they promote more campaigns that the city of Copenhagen is currently on the move. If more people start to walk, ride bicycles and more countries conduct such campaigns, traffic congestion can be reduced and a much cleaner environment can be made.
1. Does the essay have three paragraphs? Yes
ReplyDelete2. Does the introduction include a hook to get the reader's attention along with background information? Yes
3. Is the writer's opinion about the issue clearly stated in the thesis statement? I think it did not. In this writing the writer is talking about an interesting solution for a better traffic, bikes in Copenhagen. But in the thesis statement there is no mention about bikes in Copenhagen.
4. Does the body paragraph contain facts and reasons that support the opinion?
I think it would be better if you write first the system of the city such as putting bicycle racks in front of public facilities, and then write about the results of them such as fewer pollutants, noises in the air.
5. The sentence I agreed with: The challenge now is how the governments can persuade the general public to ride bicycles.
Because I think it would be the most difficult thing for them to find ways to do on solving the traffic problem.
6. Needs clarification or additional support: An illustration of creative method is in Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark.
Because this is not a sentence, I think you should write more before or after this phrase to explain this.
From HyeRi
ReplyDelete1. Your essay have three paragraphs.
2. Your introduction includes a hook to get the reader's attention, and also your hook is written along with background information.
3. Your opinion about the issue is clearly stated in the thesis statement, at the end of the introduction paragraph.
4. Your body paragraph clearly contains facts and reasons that support the opinion.
5. I definitely agree with the opinion "The challenge now is how the governments can persuade the general public to ride bicycles and how they promote more campaigns." Because in Korea, we cannot commute with bicycles from suburbs to Seoul. I think it is important to Seoul citizens who are living around their workplace ride a bicycles.
6. You mentioned that you will suggest "some creative methods" in the thesis statement, but I could see only one methods which is bicycle. I think you can fix the thesis statement. ^^;