| November 16, 2010 Introduction to Academic writing (2) fri 1,2 Comparison/ contrast essay
"I didn't commit a crime. I am innocent. I cannot understand why I should pay more than 400,000 won as a fine." Some Koreans who do not know the rules in Singapore can argue they are innocent after police officers approach and force Koreans to follow into the police station. This situation happens because of the different culture between Seoul, Korea and Singapore. People might think Singapore is totally different from Seoul. However, both cities have things in common. Seoul is a capitol city in Korea. It is a harbor of high technology and business. Therefore, most people usually are in hurry because of their busy lives. Like Seoul, Singapore is a capitol city of Singapore. More and more people live in Singapore, too. Also, lots of foreigners visit both cities to experience each of culture. Safe night life, well-equipped public transportation such as subways and buses and uniqueness of each culture might strongly appeals to them. Compared to both cities, they also have two differences on aspects of law and the language education provided in each country. At first, Singapore has far more strict laws than those in Korea. As I mentioned above, such behaviors like spitting on the road, smoking in the public places and being a jaywalking, which is accepted in Korea, are subjects to criminal prosecution. In addition, a lot of kids learn Korean as a mother tongue. They learned English as a foreign language when they are young. Some kids event go abroad to speak English fluently. On the contrast, Singaporean kids learn two mother tongue languages. They learned Singlish and Chinese in their usual lives. Both cities are attracting many outside people by their characteristics. Capitol cites of each country, being safe in night, unique culture are the similarities between two cities. They are also different attitude toward law observance and language education.
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Tuesday, November 16, 2010
201001098 Jiwon No
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Your hook was very interesting. You compared Singapore and Seoul. You have several body paragraph but every paragraph has it's thesis statement. But I just wonder how about write more about the similarities. Then the writing was more better.
ReplyDelete1. Your thesis statement compares two cities, Singapore and Seoul.
ReplyDelete2. One body paragraph focuses on comparison and another one does on contrast.
3. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
4. Each topic sentecne states the point of comparison or contrast.
5. Each body paragraph contains details to support the comparison and contrast.
5. You used connectors to add coherence.
201001098 No Jiwon
ReplyDeleteNovember 16, 2010
Introduction to Academic writing (2) fri 1,2
Comparison/ contrast essay second draft
“I didn’t commit a crime. I am innocent. I cannot understand why I should pay more than 400,000 won as a fine.”
Some Koreans who do not know the rules in Singapore can argue the statement as mentioned above they are innocent after police officers approach and take Koreans to imprison. This situation happens because of the different culture between Seoul, Korea and Singapore. People might think Singapore is totally different from Seoul. However, both cities have same things in common.
Seoul is a capitol city in Korea. Like Seoul, Singapore is the capitol city of the Singapore. Both cities are the harbor of high technologies and businesses. Therefore, most people usually are in hurry because of their busy lives in city life in Seoul and Singapore. Also, lots of foreigners visit both cities to experience each of culture. Safe night life, well-equipped public transportation such as subways and buses and uniqueness of both cities might strongly appeals to them.
Compared to both cities, they also have two differences on aspects of law and the language education used in each country. At first, Singapore has far more strict laws than those in Korea. As I mentioned above, such behaviors like spitting on the road, smoking in the public places and being a jaywalking, which is accepted in Korea, are subjects to criminal prosecution. In addition, a lot of kids learn Korean as a mother tongue. They learned English as a foreign language when they are young. Some kids event go abroad to speak English fluently. On the contrast, Singaporean kids learn two mother tongue languages. They learned Singlish and Chinese in their usual lives.
Both cities attract many foreigners by their own characteristics. Capitol cites of Korea and Singapore, being safe in night, unique culture is the similarities between two cities. They are also different attitude toward law observance and language education. Therefore when Koreans who live in Seoul visit Singapore, they have to keep in mind of the similarities and differences to have fun with such trip.