Seoul and Vélez, a small village in Spain, are two places that are nothing alike; however both places are very open and kind to tourists. Also both places also have their own charms that make me feel at home. For me, it would be very difficult to choose between the two places because of their differences and their alikeness.
Contrasting Vélez and Seoul isn't very difficult because their differences are hard to ignore. The biggest contrast between the two places is that Seoul is a megacity. It has a population that is even bigger than some of the smaller countries. On the other Vélez is a small village where everyone knows everyone. It's so small that no one can hold secrets from each other. Another contrast is that Seoul is a high-tech city. It has all kinds of high-tech gadgets to improve the life of its citizens. In Vélez however, everything is low-tech. Time seems to have stopped and progression with it. The third major contrast is its lifestyle. In Seoul everyone is in a rush. People on the street are rushing to somewhere as if they forgot to turn off the stove and need to rush home to shut it off. In Vélez life is much slower. Everything is in a slow pace. People take their time for everything. They seem to enjoy life in their own slow pace. Both cities have distinctive contrasts that make them both special and hard to choose which one is the better one.
Between the megacity and the small village, there is one similarity that is obvious. The both places are very tourist friendly. On the one hand, Seoul, in its own way seems to be very hospital and very open to tourists. It's what makes Seoul an attractive place to visit. At the same time, Vélez is also a very tourist friendly place, but differently. They don't see tourists as strangers, but more like a neighbour who came to visit them. It's not unusual in Vélez that a tourist would be invited for a local barbeque. This one comparison is what connects the two places to each other.
Thinking of the Seoul and Vélez makes me realize that both places are equally important to me and that both places are a necessity in my life. On the one hand, the high-tech and high pace way of living in Seoul is something I like and probably need to succeed in life. On the other hand, the slow way of life from Vélez is equally necessary to me to blow off some steam and to get my batteries recharged again.
Your thesis statement is rather your opinion on both cities than comparing two cities.
ReplyDeleteOne body paragraph in your writing focuses on contrast and one on comparison.
Each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Each topic sentence states the point of comparison or contrast.
Each body paragraph contains details to support the comparison or contrast. However, as for the paragraph about comparison of two cities, it would be better if you add more details and examples rather than their difference in ways of greeting tourists.
You used connectors very successively to add coherence.
Your thesis statement compare two subjects, Seoul and Vélez.
ReplyDeleteOne body paragragh focus on comparison in both cities, and one on contrast between two cities.
Each voy paragragh has its clear topic sentence.
Each topic sentence state the the point of comparison and contrast, too. But I hoped some details will be added on your second draft, especially in your second body paragragh.
You used connectors to add coherence.