200802967 Jang Jun Hwa
Survive in a Korea Karaoke
A small dark room, glamorous lights, loud music, a big screen and two microphones… What do they remind you of? The answer is a karaoke where people sing songs for entertainment. In Korea, many businessmen like to go to karaoke with their colleagues after work; because they think it is very significant to spend a lot of time with co-workers and build a close relationship. Also, if you brighten up the mood in karaoke, you may impress your boss and get a chance of promotion. There are several ways to have a big success in karaoke.
Selecting proper songs is most important. Some exhilarating songs are suitable for this situation, such as dance music. These kinds of songs can make people move up and down. If you choose some quiet songs, your co-workers will talk with a person sitting next to them, rather than listen to your song. In addition, you should consider the age of people when you select songs. It does not make sense to sing old pop songs when you are with young junior staffs. On the contrary to this, your superiors may not know recent songs, so you better sing songs which are as old and popular as most people in Korea know.
Another way to be successful in livening up the atmosphere is that you should be confident. It does not matter if you are good at singing or not. In order to make people enthusiastic and responsive to you, you have to be confident first. Even if you make mistakes and look somewhat crazy at that time, the next day no one can remember what you did clearly. People only remember that you are an appealing person to be with. In order to have confidence, it is also helpful to make a list of songs that you can sing well and practice them.
You do not need to worry about having dinner with your colleagues if you know the secret of success for karaoke nights, including selecting proper songs and being confident. No one can deny that good relationship between co-workers is as important as great ability to work in Korea society. Positive attitudes in karaoke can help you make a good impression on people who you work with.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is that your writing reaches the topic in a very simple but powerful way.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be how to give coworkers good impression in karaoke.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
* A small dark room, glamorous lights, loud music, a big screen and two microphones… What do they remind you of?
-> I think the hook would be quite enough to attract people to this writing right after they read the hook.
* It does not matter if you are good at singing or not. In order to make people enthusiastic and responsive to you, you have to be confident first. Even if you make mistakes and look somewhat crazy at that time, the next day no one can remember what you did clearly.
-> If I were a businessman who worry how to survive in karaoke, I think these sentences would be very helpful and give relief to me.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
*Selecting proper songs is most important.
-> Since this sentence is the first one of a paragraph, I think it would be better to add some more information in it. For instance, ‘When you want to give a good impression to your co-workers in karaoke, selecting proper songs is the most important.’ Or else…
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is the last part of the conclusion. Especially the last sentence seems to make the writing abruptly shifted its way to another way to success in performancing well in karaoke.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is desciption of the Korean-style karaoke.
ReplyDeleteAnd I like your topic very much, because it is very necessary tips when we go to karaoke after we get a job.
2. Your main point seems that selecting proper song and being confident make a big success in karoke
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Your first body paragragh is powerful to me, because you wrote the result of your behavior by illustrating and constrating.
I think it gives more persuasive evidence to your essay.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved
- Some exhilarating songs are suitable for this situation, such as dance music.
=> I think this sentence needs more supporting ideas.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing:
- Support ideas to show some examples for exhilarating songs.