Two beautiful islands
Imagine that you got up a minute ago. There's a sunshine went through the window toward you. You stretched and walked to the window to get a fresh air. So, guess what? There's a blue sea! This is the situation that you would undergo if you are living at an island. Not a few people in the world experience this for the place they chose to live is in the islands. Santorini and Dokdo might also be suitable examples of this.
As for the similarities between them, they both belong to the country which meets its three borders from four with sea, Korea and Greece. Also, they were both formed by the eruption of volcano standing under the islands. Although they have lots of similarities including these, however, they also have some differences about how people think about them. As for Santorini, the population of the island is from 6,500 to 11,000, maximum. However, Dokdo has a little more than 40 people including 37 guards protecting Dokdo or people live there. Add to this, while people often think Santorini as a place to travel in summer, Dokdo is argued in the historical or practical context. This different view point probably was made from their difference in advantages.
As we looked through, Santorini and Dokdo has some similarities but also differences. People can see beautiful scenery of sea in both islands but might feel totally different emotion for the islands have different history and important points.
References
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http://www.greeka.com/cyclades/santorini/santorini.htm
Greeka.com which is created by passion for the Greek islands
http://www.ulleung.go.kr/English/
Ulleung-gun's official webpage
It is very good idea to put the reference under your writing! You compared Santorini and Dokdo. and you put importance on both similarities and differences. Also each paragraph has good topic sentence. And also you have enough detail like population in both island, but just wonder how about adding "according to...". It was very interesting writing and I have a fun to read this
ReplyDelete1. Your thesis statement needs to compare two cities, Santorini and Dokdo.
ReplyDelete2. One body paragraph focuses on comparison and another one does on contrast.
3. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, except for the introduction.
4. Each topic sentecne states the point of comparison or contrast.
5. Each body paragraph contains details to support the comparison and contrast.
5. You used connectors to add coherence.
[Second draft]
ReplyDeleteTwo beautiful islands
Imagine that you woke up just a minute ago. There's a sunshine went through the window toward you. You stood up with a yawn and walked to the window to get a fresh air. Guess what you see through the window: There's the blue sea! This is the situation that you would undergo if you are living at an island. If you are at Santorini and Dokdo, you would also be able to see the fresh breeze and rolling waves of the sea reflected in your eyes. These two islands, Santorini and Dokdo, have some similarities like this. In a sense, however, they are also very different.
As for the similarities between them, they both belong to the country which meets its three borders from four with sea, Korea and Greece. Also, they were both formed by the eruption of volcano standing under the islands. On the other hand, they also have some differences especially on the way people think about them. While people often think Santorini as a place to travel in summer, Dokdo is argued in the historical or practical context. This different view point probably was made from their difference in advantages each of them has. Add to this, their population shows quite opposite condition. As for Santorini, the population of the island is from 6,500 to 11,000, maximum. However, Dokdo has a little more than 40 people including 37 guards protecting Dokdo or people live there.
As we looked through, Santorini and Dokdo has not only some similarities but also the differences between each other. People can see beautiful scenery of the sea in both islands but may feel totally different emotion for the islands because they have different historical and cultural contexts.